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Expendable

by Americas Pastime

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1.
Our Ending 03:51
Everything you said wasn't easy on my head and I don't wanna go, but I don't have a choice. 'Cause tonight has transpired and I see the fire in your eyes again, reflections of my skin turning grey. But there's so much I need off my chest to get you off of my mind. And the saddest part of all is that I never got the chance to say goodbye. Now you're nothing but a memory. It seems that fate would see our ending differently. Perhaps the walls inside our chests aren't there to stay. I know you see my smiling like everything okay. Honestly I've never been at war with myself quite like this. I know you see my smiling like everything okay. Honestly I've never been at war with myself quite like this. But there's so much I need off my chest to get you off of my mind. And the saddest part of all is that I never got the chance to say goodbye. Now you're nothing but a memory. I know I shouldn't sing this song for you. (I know you see my smiling like everything okay. Honestly I've never been at war with myself quite like this.)
2.
Home 02:42
Well I'm gone again. I think this is the last time I'll return at least while this place and the people are the same. And I've been hesitant to let my head accept what I saw, but I'll be ok. They love dragging down anyone on their way up, or anyone at all. Try and start a change, you'll end up the same as me, Alone and gone Alone and gone. Tell me that my home is where my heart is. Come and take it from my chest I don't think its where it should be, but it won't feel the same. Cause every time I go back, I don't feel at home. They'll criticize these words, as well as every verse. Myself and all the rest the same. Don't bother asking why they wanna see you burn. I think its a disease to be so ignorant and willingly at that. Tell me that my home is where my heart is. Come and take it from my chest I don't think its where it should be, but it won't feel the same. Cause every time I go back, I don't feel at home.
3.
I woke up in a cold sweat thinking about what I will become, cause I don't think that I'll amount to much. Well thats just the truth, cause growing up is a choice that I'm not sure that I'll ever be able to make. Its not about living forever its just about being able to live with yourself. And I know I can't run from the world, but I'll try my best to hide inside my shell like always before. The sound of doors closing echoes in this empty apartment, I'm just feeling sorry for myself. The sound of doors closing echoes in this empty apartment, I'm just feeling sorry for myself. I'm trying my best to ignore all that I know, all that I'll have to face someday. And I promise that I'm not certain, cause I wear a mask to hide who I really am.
4.
How does it feel inside your head? My tongue is stumbling as I try to find the words "Please just stay here with me." So I wrote this song to pick your head up. Cause its facing down it never looks up. And I wanna show you what you're worth. So close your eyes and count to three. All that matters is between you and me. So lets run away from everything. And I almost lost you once and that was enough to make me cherish every moment next to you. And I don't believe in a god but I need someone to watch over you when I'm gone. So I wrote this song to pick your head up. Cause its facing down it never looks up. And I wanna show you what you're worth. So close your eyes and count to three. All that matters is between you and me. So lets run away from everything. Like the people you cared about, your friends and family might as well have prescribed the chemicals themselves. Now you're here face to face with your biggest fears But you're not fighting alone.
5.
Go ahead tell me I'm two steps behind that perfect boy in your head. I know you love fairy tales, but darling there's nothing like imperfections. Go ahead tell me your saying goodbye. I'm not blind I just don't want to see the best for you just isn't me. I don't wanna see a day pass by knowing you aren't there to say goodnight. I swear I'll try my best this time. Losing you is something that I hoped I'd never do. So tell me, am I worth the price? Cause I know I'm not whats best for you, but I'm asking please don't go. I know you've heard a thousand times, I'm sorry. Just don't say goodbye. I don't wanna see a day pass by knowing you aren't there to say goodnight. I swear I'll try my best this time. Losing you is something that I hoped I'd never do. So tell me, am I worth the price? Cause I know I'm not whats best for you, but I'm asking please don't go. (I want it to be you but I can't do this to myself) I know you've heard a thousand times, I'm sorry. (I should go but I can't say goodbye) Just don't say goodbye. Just don't say goodbye.
6.
Well did you really believe that we didn't see right through you? Both of your faces, straight into the other hundreds. Well I lost count before I found just what I was looking for, emptiness inside your chest just like before. Your lips are still a little white Everything you said was a lie. And now we're saying goodbye cause you tripped on your own feet. I'm glad you made it out of my life. I see the legs of this bridge burning down. So say everything I said wasn't true. But we both know the truth behind every line in your show, to prove to everyone you're worth more than a crack in the floor. Your lips are still a little white Everything you said was a lie. And now we're saying goodbye cause you tripped on your own feet. I'm glad you made it out of my life. I see the legs of this bridge burning down. Don't bother taking back every word you said. I know its a lie. And this isn't the first time. Its in my nature to burn bridges down till I'm lost at sea (this world is cruel, just like you) Its in my nature to burn bridges down till I'm lost at sea (this world is cruel, just like you)
7.
Low 03:16
I'm starting to find myself in places I never looked through before. Like memories of feelings suppressed by my surroundings, and people that told me what I can't be. Am I right to think low of myself? Cause all I want is to be someone, but I'm struggling to find some self-assurance esteem or something in-between. This probably seems like another song complaining about my fucking problems. But tell me what war is worse than the one within yourself. And I have nothing to prove to anyone who dragged me down. But I feel the need to prove to myself that I'm worth more than the dirt underneath my shoes. Am I right to think low of myself? Cause all I want is to be someone, but I'm struggling to find some self-assurance esteem or something in-between. Is it really time for me to get out of bed cause I'm not ready to pull these knives out of my back. They just open old scars but it doesn't mean the skin I wear has gotten any rougher. Am I right to think low of myself? Cause all I want is to be someone, but I'm struggling to find some self-assurance esteem or something in-between.
8.
Everything you said wasn't easy on my head and I don't wanna go, but I don't have a choice. 'Cause tonight has transpired and I see the fire in your eyes again, reflections of my skin turning grey. But there's so much I need off my chest to get you off of my mind. And the saddest part of all is that I never got the chance to say goodbye. Now you're nothing but a memory. It seems that fate would see our ending differently. Perhaps the walls inside our chests aren't there to stay. I know you see my smiling like everything okay. Honestly I've never been at war with myself quite like this. I know you see my smiling like everything okay. Honestly I've never been at war with myself quite like this. But there's so much I need off my chest to get you off of my mind. And the saddest part of all is that I never got the chance to say goodbye. Now you're nothing but a memory. I know I shouldn't sing this song for you.
9.
Expendable 02:14
There's one point that I'd like to get across. Even though I've been beaten down, I won't give up trying to matter at all. I feel expendable. And I've had enough. I don't need this, or anyone in this town. I've been thinking about all the times I thought I mattered. But I've been seeing myself through their eyes, what they think of me. And I'm better off alone.

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This is my debut album. Hope you guys enjoy:) Feel free to follow on Instagram and Twitter: @apastime_music.

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released June 11, 2015

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Americas Pastime San Antonio, Texas

Acoustic / Indie project. Based in the San Antonio area.

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